Your Child's First Phone
A first phone is a big step, for your child and for you. Here's a short starter checklist.
Are they ready?
The AAP says studies don't point to a specific age that's safe. Instead, think about your child: are they mostly truthful with you, and do they handle social situations, including conflicts, in safe ways? A few questions to talk through together:
How do they want to use the phone? Calling and texting you, or apps and social media too?Would something simpler fit for now? The AAP suggests talking about a flip phone or a watch that lets them keep in touch without everything else.How will you both know it's going well? Agree on a few signs, like knowing the school's phone rules and keeping the phone away in class.Starter checklist
Set up the phone's own controls together. On an iPhone, that's Apple's Screen Time through Family Sharing. On an Android phone, it's Google Family Link. Explain the reasons behind each limit. See Setting Screen Time Limits on Your Child's Devices.Make a family agreement. The AAP's Family Media Plan helps you agree on screen-free times and places, such as meals and bedrooms at night.Charge it outside the bedroom overnight.Check privacy settings together before a new app goes on.Add ParentSEE, so you can see which apps and sites the phone reaches, and when. It doesn't see what your child writes or watches, and it doesn't block anything. It helps you notice patterns and keep the conversation going.Plan regular check-ins, like a weekly car ride or a meal together, to talk about how things are going online.Take it step by step
The AAP suggests treating a first phone like an experiment: as your child shows more responsibility, they can gain more independence and fewer controls. Kids copy what we do, too, so putting your own phone away at meals and bedtime helps.